Metta
“Loving Kindness”
Metta is a type of meditation that is meant to cultivate a sense of compassion, kindness towards others, intrinsic sense of love for oneself and others, and general optimism when viewing people and the world.
The way I approach Metta Meditation:
Sit, lie down, or stand comfortably and mostly in a straight posture, but don’t strain.
Take a moment to do breathing exercises or mindfulness to orient the body/mind towards “I’m going to take time to do meditation now” and to calm the nervous system, even just a bit. It’s ok if you aren’t perfectly calm.
Below are a list of phrases, to be repeated during Metta. These phrases can be altered, modified, added to. But the important piece is that they are phrases that you would wish for someone you love (platonic or romantic or familial!):
May you be Healthy
May you be Happy
May you be At Ease
May you be Free from Suffering
Begin by imagining someone you already love a lot. This could be a pet, family member, romantic partner, best friend, mentor or teacher, etc! While picturing or thinking of this person, silently or quietly say each phrase towards them, while imagining them in a comfortable, happy, and healthy state
Next, move on to someone you have fond feelings for, but aren’t very emotionally open with. This could be a kind, but distant coworker, or a friend of a friend that you admire. Do the same exercise to them.
Move on to someone you interact with somewhat regularly, but don’t really have a strong connection or interest in. This could be a neutral cashier at your grocery store, a frequent but closed off customer, one of your random neighbors, etc.
Move on to someone you generally butt heads with, or find irritating. Anybody with “complicated feelings”, like a difficult coworker that you have to see often, the rude cashier you wish you weren’t in line for, or a rude person on the freeway.
OPTIONAL: Move on to someone you really have a hard time with, and feel a physical resistance towards imagining or thinking about, let alone wishing well. This could be a political figure you think is harming the world, someone who bullied you, someone who makes work very difficult.
Side note - please be kind and gentle with yourself as you go up the scale of increasingly difficult people. Do not force yourself to wish well towards abusers or violent people unless you feel particularly inspired to, after much practice. Practicing too much metta prematurely (without supporting models, philosophies, and personal experience) can confuse your nervous system and can be rather dangerous towards those with people-pleasing tendencies towards abusers or otherwise harmful people. It may be healthy and necessary for you to have firm inner boundaries with certain people for many months or years.
Switch gears and point the meditation back at yourself. Picture yourself in a content, comfortable, and happy state. Repeat phrases such as “May I be Healthy, May I be Happy, May I be At Ease, May I be Content”
Expand the meditation towards your whole community, and consider expanding across geopolitical borders and send loving kindness towards the whole Earth
to be continued, will expand on the “why” and “how it works”, how we can combine it with visualization, the long term effects both scientifically and experientially, examples of “knowing its working”,